Musings of an American Idol

Pervs With High-Speed Internet will not forget Antonella barba



Musings on American Idol

• "Paula Abdul is wandering around outside somewhere, no doubt trying to find a clean needle from the homeless throng outside the studios. She'll be back as soon as she loads up."

• "The girls all throw pillows at Ryan, which causes him to be visibly uncomfortable, because he hasn't had this done to him since the last time he was in a dodgy bath-house in San Francisco."

• "Did you know that Sundance is really a thin and sexy man in a fat suit? I use that excuse all the time but I lie."

• "Haley Scarnato is up next. She was a gymnast until her body wore out. What is she, 80?"

• "Phil Stacy had hair one time. You think? Hey this guy is comical. He must have a great sense of humor to wear that hat."

The eliminations were surprising (except for Barba's, which was largely expected) and as a result, the show's ridiculously attractive and Weird Facial Hair contingents both sustained dramatic losses. Also, Carrie Underwood performs, and unlike Kellie Pickler, she has not bought herself any gigantic fake breasts since her last time on the Idol stage.

Simon Line Of The Week:
• "I just wish you could sing better." Simon Cowell to Antonella Barba, after her dismal singing performance on Wednesday night's American Idol.

Antonella Barba